Tower Heist Quotes

Bookmark and Share
Story: Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy lead an all-star cast in Tower Heist, a comedy caper about working stiffs who seek revenge on the Wall Street swindler who stiffed them. After the workers at a luxury Central Park condominium discover the penthouse billionaire has stolen their retirement, they plot the ultimate revenge: a heist to reclaim what he took from them.

Quotes from Tower Heist (2011) movie

Josh Kovacs: The maid's gone rogue!

Josh Kovacs: The average apartment in the Tower costs 5.6 million dollars. We have the best views, the most advanced security systems, but you know what these people are really buying?
Rick Malloy: White neighbors?

Josh Kovacs: Several years ago, he was asked to manage all your pensions. Right now, they're saying that anyone who invested with Mr Shaw has been frauded.
Odessa Montero: Did he get your money too?
Josh Kovacs: ...Yeah. He did.

Arthur Shaw: You people are working stiffs, clock-punchers. Easily replaced.
Josh Kovacs: I don't care what it takes. I will find a way to make it right.

Cole Howard: We're not criminals. We don't know how to steal...
Josh Kovacs: Don't worry. I know someone who does.

Slide: You know this was a bad idea, right?
Josh Kovacs: That's it, I don't want you talking to me for the rest of the robbery!

Slide: A robbery can change very quickly. You have to be ready to adapt to the situation at any moment. Anything can happen. I was on a job a few days ago and my homie got shot in the face!
Josh Kovacs: If you get shot in the face, it's over.
Slide: If you get shot in your HEAD, it's over. If you get shot in your FACE, the bullet will go through your cheek and come out the other side! Then, what you gonna do?
Cole Howard: Die! We're all gonna die!

Odessa Montero: First thing you gotta do, you gotta find the entry point. You gotta use your fingers, and you find the entry point.
[Slide looks at Odessa]
Odessa Montero: You married?
Slide: No, I ain't married. What's up?

Odessa: "Just taking a poll.
Slide: Taking a poll?"
Odessa: I'll take your poll...

Cole Howard: If anybody needs me, I'll be living in this box...

Cole Howard: I'm thinking of becoming a male prostitute...
Josh Kovacs: I think I might have a better idea.

Rick Malloy: We're gonna go to jail! We're gonna die! Probably both!
Josh Kovacs: Yes! Yes! Yes! Join me!

Slide: Today I teach you how to pick a lock with a barber pin! Herr's your barber pin, here's your barber pin, and here's your punk-ass barber pin! You unlock the door, or you gonna freeze to death! I'm gonna be inside having sex wih Rita!
Cole Howard: Who's Rita?

[at a posh restaurant]
Slide: We can order whatever we like, lunch is on me...
[holds up a bag with a cockroach in it]

Odessa Montero: You mess with me, you're a dead man!

Slide: I will blow your face CLEAN OFF your face!

Josh: Jeez a hamburger is $24. We can't afford to eat here anyway.
Slide: We can order whatever we like cause uh, lunch is on me!

Slide: Earlier today I taught you all how to pick a lock with a bobby pin. I want you all to practice on this door. I've got bobby pins for all of y'all. (distributes bobby pins to everyone) You unlock the door, or you're gonna freeze to death. I'm gonna be inside having sex with Rita.
Mr. Fitzhugh: Who's Rita?

Slide: How is this supposed to be right if you made it out of Legos?
Josh: The dimensions are completely accurate.
Slide: Man you might as well use Lincoln Logs. (holds up a small Lego person) And who's this, Webster?!

Arthur Shaw: I may have my own private island in Belize, but deep down, I'm just an Astoria boy like Josh here.
Josh: That's right, P.S. 104. Go Lions!

Slide: How come you bail me out? I don't even know your name.
Josh: You don't remember Mrs. Salzberg? We used to get dropped off at her apartment every morning for daycare. Come on, heavy-set woman, short goatee?
Slide: You're the little seizure boy that was having them seizures all the time!
Josh: No!
Slide: But you would have seizures on a regular basis and all the kids would be crying and your eyes were rolling back, and the foam was coming out - it was very scary!
Josh: Asthma doesn't cause seizures!
Slide: Why'd you bail me out?
Josh: Because I have a job for you.
Slide: Ohhhh little seizure boy wanna try to rob somebody, huh? What you trying to steal?
Josh: 20 million dollars.


It's not just a robbery. It's payback.
Ordinary guys. An extraordinary robbery.


Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, Matthew Broderick, Téa Leoni, Michael Peña, Gabourey Sidibe, Judd Hirsch.

Official Site


{ 1 comments... Views All / Post Comment! }

Anonymous said...

Now this is a good quotes page!! I'm so excited about Eddie Murphy in this movie...looks like the classic Eddie of old. My current fave quote:

Odessa: "You married?"
Slide: "Say what?"
Odessa: "You married?"
Slide: "No, I ain't married. What's up?"
Odessa: "Just taking a poll."
Slide: "Taking a poll?"
Odessa: "I'll take your poll..."

More quotes here :)

Post a Comment